Thursday, November 17, 2005

Disheartening

Mom found out yesterday the liver tumor has grown from 2cm to 5cm in the month to month and a half since it was discovered. The one on her lung has grown as well, but not as much as the liver tumor. It's been a rough time since finding out it grew so rapidly. We're all just in shell shock and more disheartening news just rattles us to the core. I heard the anxiety and uncertainty in my mother's voice for the first time, yesterday. I worry about her as it's the first crack in the brave front she's projected since the diagnosis. I know she's remaining strong for all of us, which isn't exactly fair, either. My father is just reeling, and I believe he's dealing the worst out of all of us.

On a good note, she was assigned a new doctor yesterday after she told them she was not planning on following her current doctor when he moves to another hospital next month. This doctor is as knowledgeable, but has the human quality that mom's previous doctor was missing. He explained everything in detail, and for whatever reason, some of the stuff we already knew finally clicked in mom's head. The stress of the whole situation has been keeping her from comprehending all of it. He even asked if he could hug her before the visit was over.

While receiving chemo, she was in a large room with other patients. That was hard to accept as well. However, she did meet a woman who had metastacized breast cancer who has been fighting it since 2001. She said the chemo all but erradicated the tumors many times, but as it's in her blood, they always come back and the treatments start again. Mom told her she didn't think she could handle that. The woman told her that facing the alternative was much worse, and to take it one day at a time. Be greatful for the good days. She also said she has to keep living, because every year medical knowledge grows, and who knows...maybe one day there will be a cure.

On a knitting front, I've been knitting in ss because my mind just can't handle a whole lot and I'm taking out more than I'm knitting. Here's a sweater I'm working on for my 4 year old. I plan to make a matching one for my 1 year old.

3 Comments:

Anonymous kimberly said...

This is horrible and I'm praying that things turn for the better, somehow.

Friday, November 18, 2005 1:13:00 PM  
Blogger Catherine Kerth said...

your still in my prayers... sorry you guys just keep getting bad news..... i like the sweater, atleast you can get your mind off it a little bit.... proboably not, i bet all you think about is your mom when you knit.....

Friday, November 18, 2005 2:37:00 PM  
Blogger mamma said...

My heart aches for you and your mother. I'm so glad her new doctor is kind as well as knowlegable, such a rare combination in such a trying profession. Thank you for the update, I've been thinking of you.

On a side note, that sweater is so cute. I just love making matching sweaters for my kids, it's really a sickness, this need to dress my children in matching outfits. Indulge it while you can, before they get big enough to protest.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 12:06:00 PM  

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